dead parrot
Moherator
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 Wysłany: Pią 17:59, 29 Sie 2008 Temat postu: I wish I was Adenine so I can be paired with U... |
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...czyli kilka... ee..."naukowych" żarcików...
Scientist - "for my next experiment I intend to prove that neutrons have mass."
Langdon - "neutrons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic"
At NIH (National Institute of Health), there is a sign on the door of a microbiology lab that reads "STAPH ONLY!"
Q: What does a molecular biologist and a porn star have in common?
A: they both get paid to remove their genes!
Two protons walk into a bar talking about a mutual friend.
Proton: Did you hear Electron 7 got thrown into orbit an wasn't happy about it?
Proton 2: Yea, well. He's always been negative that way.
Q: What happened to the molecular biologist who swallowed a beaker full of restriction endonucleases?
A:He came to a sticky end...
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control!
Q: Why don't catholics pray for forgiveness when sitting down?
A: Because there's no syn elimination in the chair conformation!
Q: What did the receiver say to the radio wave?
A: Ow! That megahertz.
Q: What does a sperm do when he meets the egg of his dreams ?
A: He looses his head !
Q: Why did DNA go to old navy ?
A: His genes were splitting!
Hydrogen is such a whore, it'll bond to anything!
Helium is such a prude.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
I wish I was Adenine so I can be paired with U!
*Pointed out correction to above*
I wish I was an adenine in an RNA molecule that does exhibit double stranded regions (eg tRNA), then you COULD pair with 'U'
A British fellow walks into a chemists shop, grabs a bottle of Adenosine TriPhosphate and tells the man at the counter that he'd like to buy it. The man behind the counter rings it up, then holds out his hand. "Alright, that'll be eighty P."
(A-T P(ense))
Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase...that way I could unzip your genes.
Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist?
A. Barium.
Q:What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking?
A:In Chemistry,you should never lick the spoon.
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"
Famous last words:
Nuclear physicist: See, cold fusion does not work.
Nuclear physisist: What was the critical mass, exactly?
Physisist: And now we reach absolute zero.
Astronomer: That asteroid won't hit the Earth.
Chemist: And now the tasting test.
Chemist: And now a little bit from this...
Chemist: And now shake it a bit.
Chemist: Why is there no label on this bottle?
Chemist: In which glass was my mineral water?
Chemist: Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
Chemist: First the acid, then the water...
Chemist: Oh no, wrong beaker...
Microbiologist: These bacteria cannot live outside the substrate.
Field biologist: They never attack humans.
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